the art of secret hobbies

I'm a pretty private person when it comes to my hobbies... consequently, I feel like there's a lot that even my closest friends don't know about me as an entirety.

So, the art of secret hobbies is that..unless it's sketch/illegal (in which case, why are you doing it? hm?), don't keep them secrets! This one in particular is one that I've kept under wraps for...forever. But now it's time to be real about it.

Did you know that sometimes I play the guitar, sometimes I watch Country Strong, and sometimes I try to sing AND play guitar to songs from Country Strong for my friends, Ben and Zane? Bet you didn't.

the art of faking adulthood

I tend to equate becoming a "grown up" with being a volunteer search-and-rescue crew member in one of those high profile missing people cases. You want to help find the person, but you don't actually want to FIND the person, if you know what I'm saying.

If you're like me, you're stuck in this in-between where you want to become an adult, but you're still figuring it out. Here's how I've figured out how to fake it until you make it:


1. More coffee, less cream.

Nothing looks more grown up than filling your 3rd cup of the morning to the brim with black coffee because you are serious business and don't have time for children's games like "let's add some cream and make this actually enjoyable to drink".

+2 points if you try to refute the above statement by saying, "I actually PREFER my coffee black!"

2. Condescending baby voice. About EVERYTHING.

Normal you would've said: "I like your dog. It's cool."

Adult you will say: "Oh, let me meet this precious little guy! What's this sweetheart's name? Is your name Baldrick? IS IT? Oh, hi sweet Baldrick, oh you love kisses, you love kisses!"

3. 5:00 Happy Hour.

Pretend like it isn't a totally inconvenient time of day to interrupt your True Blood marathon, put on your "I just got off of work and need to decompress over some vague small talk and a beer!" face and get out there, soldier!

+ 2 Points if you show up at 5:25, look at the host/hostess and shake your head, "Everything just piled up on my desk today- couldn't get out of there on time. I SURE could use a drink, har har."

+3 Points if the host/hostess is still willing to fake-laugh as if he/she hasn't heard that from every customer before and will not be hearing it ever again.

4. Accidentally leave your work badge on when you're meeting with acquaintances at said Happy Hour.

"Oh! Wow, I always forget to take this darned thing off when leaving the office. Security is just so intense over there. Silly me."

5. Resist the urge to chase the gulls and the geese.



I actually don't want to hear that you can walk along the shoreline, notice the flock of seagulls to your left, and continue on your way. If you still don't feel the slightest urge to drop your phone, shoes, and boyfriend to set off at a dead sprint for the birds (while waving your arms and yelling various profanities), you are officially an adult- read no further.

Anyways, don't do this.

6. Claim that you need to check your planner/schedule/calendar before making any decision.

"Christmas dinner when? the 25th of...oh, December? Yeah, let me pull out my blackberry real quick and make sure I'm not about to double up!"

If you DO pull out your smartphone to do this, take this opportunity to make a discreet play on Words With Friends.

7. Business casual, ESPECIALLY when going to a casual event.

Make it look like you may or may not have just flown in on the corporate jet juuuust in time to catch a cab over to your girlfriend's place for that Jersey Shore marathon.

Never mind that a) you actually spent the day in your sweats watching Titanic on E! for the 3rd time b) you live in suburbia where the use of a cab is totally impractical and c) you would never, EVER pay for a cab..even if you could afford it.

8. Don't watch Jersey Shore.

In theory. Don't actually stop watching it. Ever.

9. Feign indifference to things in which you are interested, feign interest in things to which you are indifferent.

Normal you would've said: "OMGOMGOMG the last Harry Potter came out and I cried and how great was the Ron and Hermione kiss?"

Adult you will say: "Your little niece dressed up for that one magic movie? How adorable! But, wait, what's this about the new plastic bag ban at Winco?? This is America!"

10. Definitely do NOT make it seem like you have any time for blogging.

On second thought...

If you're like me, anywhere from none to nadda% of these sounded appealing at all. Maybe I'll just stick to being me, and I'll let adulthood make its way to into my life gradually. No faking it.

+2 points if you agree.

The Art of Parallel Lives

I find it kind of funny how, right as you are transitioning into a phase in your life, someone else you could have shared it with is transitioning RIGHT out of it. The timing is impeccable. When your door closes, their door opens and vice versa. There are always those people you are destined to be on opposite sides of the fence with... always crossing over at the same time, never sharing a second in the same moment.

Not a bad thing at all. Just the way it is.

Kind of like how right as I'm getting into my most difficult year of school...ALL OF MY FRIENDS ARE GRADUATING!! So excited for them, so proud. I still can't see the light at the end of that tunnel (#5thyearwoes), but for now I'll live vicariously through them. Way to go, guys. :)

The Art Of Being Lost

"The art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on."

I was able to convince myself for some time that I was the type of person who was always in control of her emotions, her destiny, her everything. Then...I met this year. Everything is upside down and inside out, and I've come to realize that I seriously have no idea what I am doing. With anything. Ever. Does anyone, really?

For someone who finds stability in being in constant control, I've been left feeling like I just drank three long islands and proceeded to go on a tilt-a-whirl. Bad life decisions, I tell you...but that's a whole other entry in itself. How do you fix this? You don't. You drank the long islands, you went on that stupid ride, and now you're stumbling around like a fool. The only solution, besides more cowbell, is to stumble in style:

1. Own it. As Abe Lincoln once said, "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt" (which is a rip-off of Proverbs 17:28, by the way). Personally, I prefer to speak out and remove all doubt that I'm not a fool. What of it?

2. Stay optimistic. What's so bad about not having all of the answers? Nothing is as black and white as we would like it to be sometimes, and that's the beauty in the process. Think of it as a challenge rather than a stumbling block.

3. Play fair. Relationships and friendships can be tumultuous and confusing. They can be the reason you were compelled to down those long islands in the first place. It's important to be be fair to yourself and be honest with what you need, but it's equally as paramount to bestow that same honesty and respect onto all of the involved parties. I've been struggling to learn the difference between pleasing people vs. respecting people.

4. Hold your head high and treat yourself as if you are the coolest person you have ever met. Nobody else will be able to tell that you feel otherwise.

Some friends and I were leaving a restaurant today, and I marched off towards the car, leading the way. I was on a mission. "Tiffany, where are you GOING?" I heard my friends laughing as I turned around to see that I had not only passed our car, but I was walking in the entirely wrong direction.

"See, guys, this is why I said to NEVER follow Tiffany."

Okay, so I'm always lost. Maybe you shouldn't follow me. Maybe I'm on the wrong mission. As long as I'm headed somewhere, I'm fine with that. We all get lost, but it's all about wandering aimlessly in style until you eventually find your way back.

let's get real

I have grown to love many things, but nobody ever taught me how to show it.

At the end of it all, I've come to realize that being "strong" is not fearing love and emotional weakness. Without it, we're nothing but hard shells.

PS - I returned from a Chicago with a taste for red wine as I claimed I might.

PPS- How much does my layout remind you of Portlandia's "just put a bird on it"??

I fell in love again, all things go, drove to Chicago..

My brother has been boot camping it up in San Diego for the Marine Corps for about a month now. I decided that I was going to take a lot of pictures and blog via pictures of my life. Starting after this post. Maybe. I've always wanted to be one of those people who is really good about taking a camera everywhere, but I just can never get myself to.

Are there a lot of things/characteristics that you wish you had? Does it make sense to change who you really are to adopt these traits? I remember back in high school when I went through that phase (along with the rest of Southridge) of wanting to be a little 17 year old, coffee-drinking, clothes-never-matching hipster. See, there are some things that make you better, and then there are some things that you are glad you were never able to pick up.

I have also always wanted to write blogs that had a purpose so that it was actually, you know, worth your time to read. Never was able to figure that one out either.

I'm going to Chicago next week (during week 9...probably the worst week of the term to miss, but I don't care. I laugh in the face of bad timing). Maybe while I'm there I'll have a giant epiphany, and I'll come back with all the characteristics that I wish I had: I'll be fashionable, I'll have a taste for red wine, I'll be okay with leggings as pants... or I'll just be okay with being me :)

I'll let you know.

Tumblr?

I think Tumblr is such a cute, more right-brain oriented way of blogging (not that I'm particularly right-brained..)

So I'm messing around with it. Check it out, if you like :)